My own personal Lent...

8 FEBRUARY 2010

(image with thanks from cartoonchurch.com)

Got a rude shock the other day to be reminded that Lent was just around the corner. 

Now, last year, M and I did a Lenten journey - and in doing so gave up alcohol and meat. And while it was a challenge, it wasn't too tricky for us, given that we're not heavy users of either of those two things... However, when it came to feeding the kids, it did become a bit tricky (the meat that is, not the booze! :) )

So, with Lent approaching I decided to put some serious thought into what might be a good approach, based on what Lent means to me...

And to assist me with that (and hopefully others), I've put together a small article on that very topic at the Nomastery... Feel free to have a look if Lent is something you might be interested in.

For me, Lent is about both creating frequent opportunities to remember Christ and his journey, but also a chance to try and simplify our lives, and in doing so live a life more meaningful and worshipful.

So - what have I decided?

Black and white:  Nothing but water...

Dietary stuff always works well for Lent, because it's a constant reminder. But adapting foodstuffs can have a nasty impact on the family, creating more effort or drawing them into something that's not their decision.

But not so with drinking. I enjoy a drink - and I don't just mean alcohol. Tea, coffee, chocolate milk, soft drinks... All very enjoyable. And of course, all very unnecessary. Water is enough for anyone. So, for Lent there will be nothing but water (and perhaps milk at breakfast, given that I have a bad tendency to lose weight!). No coffee, no tea, no nothing.

I'm sure that'll be hard. But I guess that's the point. It'll be a very constant reminder, and more importantly will be a lesson in living simply, at a most basic level.

Grey areas: Simple consumption

Lent will also be an opportunity to refresh and concentrate on our desire to live simply. So, before any purchase I'll be asking myself "Do we really need this?", followed by "Do we really need this now?" - If not, we'll wait til after Lent and then see whether we did really need it after all.

Of course, 'need' is highly subjective, so we can't guarantee to be living like hermits - and besides, we enjoy life as a family and do not want to sacrifice our enjoyment or moreso, the enjoyment of our kids. But where we can, we'll be focusing on needs. Cutting out drinks helps too as we'll be having to find other, simpler, cheaper options for outings than our usual coffee and cake!

Giving: What I would have spent.

And of course, it would seem a bit unfair if with the money I saved through this I just pocketed it - So over Lent I'll be developing a rough idea of how much money I'm not spending and putting that towards something a bit more meaningful. It might not be a lot by the end, but it feels better to know that your sacrifice has benefited someone other than yourself.

So off we go! No doubt I'll keep you updated....

What's your Lent look like?

Value for money - addendum

3 FEBRUARY 2010

Convenient timing - an article in the paper today about some research which has demonstrated that the more exposure you have to 'luxury' goods, the more likely your decisions are going to be self-interested.

So a simple life is not just about using your resources wisely, but is also about being a better, more generous, less selfish person. And it's not only the possession of these luxury items that does that, but even the mere exposure to them...

Time to go burn those catalogues and newspaper supplements with nothing but expensive goods advertised in them! Goodbye window shopping! :)

tis a gift to be simple...

Value for money - value of money

2 FEBRUARY 2010

There’s a good little article in the paper today that sheds some objective light (and just a little bit of unbelief) at the news of two families spending a combined $500,000 on a beach box in Portsea, just so they won’t have to lug their beach gear up and down to the beach from their Portsea homes… the poor dears.

As expected, I also scratch my head trying to figure out how that could be seen as a sensible use of money – but perhaps I don’t have the mindset of someone to whom $500,000 is no big deal…

In fact, the paper is full of such excess today:

• Billionaire Sir Richard Branson has added an underwater sea plane to his pile of luxury playthings in the latest pitch to lure the super rich to his Caribbean island. The entrepreneur plans to charge guests at his Necker Island resort $26,800 for a two-hour glide through the ocean, 40 metres below the surface, but only after they fork out $98,000 for seven nights aboard the resort's catamaran, the Necker Belle.  
• Gail Kelly, the boss of Westpac, has splashed out about $9 million on a property featuring an Olympic equestrian arena, highlighting the deep pockets of bankers at the recession-proof end of town. The acquisition, in Terrey Hills on Sydney's affluent northern beaches, cost Ms Kelly less than one year's income before tax.

$26,800 for two hours underwater when you can scuba in the same place for the same time for what price? $500 at most?

$9,000,000 on a house? How big is her family? And given she’s a bank CEO, how much time will she seriously spend there?

I guess we get jaded to these excesses, so common as they are. The availability of such extravagances, far beyond simple luxuries, is a bit of a condemnation on society – But then, so is a society which thinks it’s ok to pay people so much that these things become affordable. $10,000,000 salaries aren’t unheard of. And yes, people can spend their money on whatever they want… But really, how much does one person need to live, and live very comfortably? Given that the average Australian salary is now about $62,000 dollars, I would argue that $100,000 should be enough for anyone to live quite happily on and give them no reason to complain about not having enough. And if we wanted to be super-generous, $200,000 is still only 2% of that excessive kind of a salary, which could leave $9,800,000 for other much more meaningful, wonderful things. One of the comments in that original article spoke of how saving a life can cost as little as $200…. That puts it all into perspective really. Where our extravagance and indulgence is misguided. And where we could use what we have been granted (as much or as little as that is) to help more than just ourselves.

 It has also however, to look at the log in my own eye, encouraged me to think of the little unnecessary excesses which, although of far less value, still represent foolish excesses.

If we assume that beach shed might be worth, perhaps sensibly, $25,000 (and this is just me guessing and using my own value base, as limited as that is), then they’ve paid 20x more than they should have. It costs at most, 1 cent per litre for water from the tap. So why have I paid (on occasion) $2.50 a litre…. 250x as much as I needed to. Makes spending 20x too much on a shed look like a bargain!

And I’m sure I can think of other things I’ve been guilty of paying too much for when they’ve provided little or no benefit over the cheaper options. Brand name clothing, expensive wine that isn’t that much better than it’s cleanskin cousin, and new furniture when the old stuff really did work ok. New shiny tools when I could easily borrow one from a friend. Or home ‘improvements’ when it really didn’t need improvement in the first place. 

It’s hard to distinguish needs from wants. And what we think we need rather than what really do. And when we’re paying for stuff other than the product itself, be it status due to a label, or because ‘everyone else has this one’, or we’re just suckers for good marketing (iPad anyone?).

And while I don’t think we should beat ourselves up for ever indulging or buying something a bit unnecessary or indulgent from time to time, it’s a constant challenge. That how we use our resources says so much about who we are and what we value. 

Our life vs that of others. Meaningful vs superficial. Everlasting vs temporary.

With lent just around the corner, I think those themes are going to become more common in my mind…

And so it begins...

31 JANUARY 2010

Why is it that the involvement of a crisp new uniform, an appropriate bag, and and a 9-3.30 day which makes parents get a bit sniffly? Kids have been off to day care, kindergarten, holiday programs, and such for years - but these minor differences seem to have major emotional consequences!

Yes, the eldest of our kids is off to her first day of school (prep) tomorrow...

Yes, that feels weird, despite of consciously acknowledging that we've been working into this for some time. The 'day' still has its meaning...even if we're a bit short of words to describe how it feels for us (and don't even dare to understand, despite her enthusiasm and relative nonchalent attitude, how it must feel for our daughter). So, when we're short of words ourselves, prayer suffices:

So where did the 5 years go Lord?

So much has happened, if we analyse and count, but it still seems like just yesterday sometimes - that small girl, that first experience, not having a clue of what was to come, being totally unprepared, like all new parents.

Now we're old hands. But looking at this day, we still feel like complete amateurs, like children ourselves... we don't know what's to come from tomorrow on - But we pray that you'll help us, day by day, as you have until now.

Be there with our child. In the face of their teacher, to the easy friendships of her peers. In the thrill of play and friends and feeling all grown up, and in the inevitable sadness of making mistakes, feeling foolish, losing best friends (even if only for a day), and feeling alone. Let her find you in the comfort of other people, other things, other thoughts, and other times.

Help her to learn without even knowing she is. Help her grow in character naturally and find her true self better and sooner than it took her own parents. And help us to cherish who she is, rather than seek to mold her to who we think she wants or needs to be.

Help us make a home which is a space she wants to come home to and continue her learning and growing.

And help those whom she will meet. Those better off, and those worse. Those who have every luxury laid before them, and those who may come without friends, without sleep, without lunch. Let the life we have been granted by you become something we can bless them with, rather than something to compare against them to make ourselves feel more blessed. May our whole family keep our eyes open for those we can show love to as we broaden our boundaries and meet new people. 

Let her feel loved, by you and those around her. Show her how she can love others, and you. And help us all, as a family and a community, to create an environment of love in which growing up is natural and fun. 

And let us let today be what it will be. Let's not stress her out by being stressed herself, or refuse to let her be scared, if that's how she feels. This day is her day, we've done all we can.

Give us this day our daily bread, and the bread for our child. Not tomorrow's bread, not next week's. Don't let us get ahead of ourselves. Let us just deal with today - there's enough in this day as it is.

Amen.

Nomastery newness: Being "with" or just being "there"

21 JANUARY 2009

Are we actually there 'with' those we love, or are we just 'there'.

Death - You can never be too prepared...

21 JANUARY 2010

I had the good fortune today of a late afternoon meeting near a local geocache that I've been wanting to knock off for a while, so after the meeting I popped by for a walk and find.

This one had me in our local cemetery and in the process of finding the necessary clues in what is typically a solemn and mournful place, I found myself smiling broadly at the levels of planning and preparation that some people go to:

He may not know when he's going to die, but he's certainly ready for it!

As I wandered through the cemetery, I also encountered the usual mix of emotions that encounter you in this place. Remarking at the long full lives of some, sadness and anger at the young and very young who never got to live their lives, and fear at the thought of your own death. It's strange how, even though we know that death is as much a part of life as birth, we cannot embrace it as much. We talk about it in hushed tones and don't dare to look happy or joyful at a funeral or cemetery (I know this isn't the case in all cultures of course). Of course, that's probably because we don't like the idea of dying ourselves - But more, which is evident whenever you wander around a cemetery, is the simple fact that we miss people whom we have loved. Friends, family, lovers. To simply not be able to be with them again, or even know that they inhabit this same earth, is sad. Of course, I'm not saying anything that any of us would not already know... But I guess it's not something I think about much. Perhaps we should....

Anything that restores perspective can be helpful. And by perspective I mean something that takes you away from the here and now of modern life, in which we're constantly surrounded by images of who's up and who's down. Now, that might be something as grim as the thought of death. 9/11, as we know, has been a giant memento mori hanging over the U.S. and the world: a reminder that death can find us very suddenly at any moment. That's a challenge to our workaday sense of needing to get on. People who have had a close brush with death tend to say that their priorities have been altered. What the neighbors think, and where you are on the ladder of life shifts in relevance. That's why the Christian moralists have traditionally stressed death as an agent that contributes positively to Judeo-Christian values. But of course it's very hard to keep the possibility of death constantly in the front of your mind, particularly when there are big corporations heavily invested in trying to get us to buy a new car, or go on holiday. They don't ask us to think about the grave nature of life. That kind of reminder tends to come from literature and art, and often has a hard time getting heard amid the clamor of all the media-driven messages.

(Alain de Botton)

On the way out of the cemetery I reminded myself that the only reason all of these memorials to loss and sadness are here is because, in some way, these individuals were loved.

That wasn't such a bad thing to go home with.

Nomastery newness: Nomastwits

17 JANUARY 2010

Given my general aversion to things such as Facebook and Twitter, it will indeed come as a huge surprise to some to find that I've entered the world of Twitter...

*insert gasps of horror at my hypocrisy and cries of 'how could you after all you said!'*

Right, now that's out of the system....

In reality however, I'm not taking up Twitter to keep a random mix of friends and sticky-beaks informed of what I bought at the Reject Shop this morning, who I saw picking their nose at the lights, or my current dietary habits - Instead, I'm trialling it as a tool for the Nomastery...

While I'm not a fan of Twitter for social purposes per se, I do potentially see some value of using it to keep a level of frequent, short, 'reminder' kind of infomation to Nomastically inclined people. Kind of a daily prompt. Who have you loved today? How have you done that? What are we thinking about as a nomastic 'community', etc.

I remember early in my faith journey one of the biggest problems I faced was, strangely, simply 'forgetting' about God and who I was in Him... and thus not acting accordingly (or at least, not even thinking about how I should act).  So, in that light, my move at that point into pentecostal circles was brilliant as due to being surrrounded by Christian friends (this was in a uni environment) it was almost impossible to 'forget' about God.

So, I'm trying out this Twitter thing to hopefully provide a similar scenario - Both for me and for any 'followers' who choose to take it up. A regular reminder that loving God and others is our primary purpose, and to encourage us along that journey, encourage us to think, reflect and act accordingly...

Get it here... :)